Half-Life Gets Update; NOT Half-Life 3 Related

Gabe Newell can’t count to numbers that aren’t printed on your money.

Half-Life recently got an update. Nothing too major; just some bug fixes and the like. Which is impressive for a nearly 20 year old game; Most of the time, games that old only see such action from modders. And it’s mostly due to the fact that Valve wants Half-Life to remain evergreen on Steam. As a matter of fact, here are the patch notes:

  • Fixed crash when entering certain malformed strings into the game console. Thanks to Marshal Webb from BackConnect, Inc for reporting this.
  • Fixed crash when loading a specially crafted malformed BSP file. Thanks to Grant Hernandez (@Digital_Cold) for reporting this.
  • Fixed malformed SAV files allowing arbitrary files to be written into the game folder. Thanks to Vsevolod Saj for reporting this.
  • Fixed a crash when quickly changing weapons that are consumable. Thanks to Sam Vanheer for reporting this.
  • Fixed crash when setting custom decals

But what word of Half-Life 3? None. But I have the answer, using numerology and my own form of batshit insanity. Half-Life is almost 20 years old. There are 5 patch notes. 5*20=100, but we’re not stopping there. 1917 was 100 years ago; 19+17=36. The number 36 contains 2 numbers divisible by 3, 3 and 6. 3*6=18, our first hard number. 1+8=9. 9*3=27.

If you combine (heh) all of these numbers in the right order, you get the date 9/27/18, or September 27, 2018, which is the date upon which Half-Life 3 will be released!!! And GabeN thought he was so clever!

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WELL I FIGURED IT OUT, LORD GABEN! ALLOW ME TO BASK IN THE EVERLASTING WARMTH OF YOUR SALES! HALLOWED BE THY CHECKING ACCOUNT! IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE HAT, AND THE HOLY CROWBAR! I’M UNWORTHY OF SUCH REVELATIONS, MY LORD!

And if you believe all that, send your end of the world seed money to the GAMbIT Magazine offices.

B. Simmons

Based out of Glendale California, Bryan is a GAMbIT’s resident gaming contributor. Specializing in PC and portable gaming, you can find Bryan on his 3DS playing Monster Hunter or at one of the various conventions throughout the state.