For those that haven’t been following it, Vikings is History’s answer to Game of Thrones, and probably one of the best things about History’s network decay. The sex is toned down to be appropriate for a lower cable channel, but the violence is roughly on par, though it’s not quite as brutal. It has a rough basis in history, skirting just as many things as it gets right (yes, that’s real ancient English, as well as the other languages spoken in the show).
This episode has a twist which I feel anyone savvy enough could see coming, in addition to one which only those somewhat versed in this period of history would likely see coming. I will spoil the former, but I’ll leave the latter be, so reader beware.
The episode begins with the French dropping off the gold they promised to the Vikings to break the siege and leave. Rollo goes to tell Ragnar about it, and gets dismissed by Ragnar, who is clearly dying. He holds the cross he kept as a memento of Athelstan, saying that it doesn’t matter to him. The only thing that does is the fact that he will now see Athelstan in Heaven.
It then deals with the fallout of Ragnar’s decision to be baptized as a Christian. Floki, as expected, is pissed about this, and makes his displeasure about it known to Rollo. He leaves, and Lagertha falls in step with Rollo, expressing her disbelief that Ragnar has truly become a Christian. She brings up that Rollo was baptized in season two, with Rollo responding that it didn’t change him because he didn’t want it to, that the Gods protected him from it, but they refuse to protect Ragnar. Lagertha asks him why they refuse to protect him. Rollo responds that it was Athelstan.
Emperor Charles continues to display a shocking level of incompetence when it comes to ruling, thinking this has been a victory for him. He’s so self assured that he’s the best thing since his grandfather, Charlemagne. He just doesn’t listen to his daughter and you know it’s going to be his downfall. In the same scene, Count Odo was approached by a lady of the court after being shot down by Princess Gisla again. More on that, later.
Ragnar tells Bjorn that there will come a day when he will be King. Bjorn gets a lesson in leadership which would honestly be sound advice regardless. Ragnar then gives him a task that he can only trust Bjorn with. Rollo looks out over the water at Paris, recalling the words the Seer told him. “If you would truly see what the Gods had in store for you, you would go down now and dance naked on the beach.”
This is actually a slow paced episode, so I’m just going to go into highlights from here on out. Count Odo meets up with the court lady, whose name hasn’t really been spoken to my knowledge, after hours. Despite her being married, she does her best to seduce him, and he leads her down into his dungeon. He has a multitude of whips on display, and asks her to select one and get herself situated in those delightful shackles he has hanging from the ceiling. The whole scene is clearly meant to set Count Odo up as a bad, bad man in a series of moral ambiguity, like being the stoner in a slasher flick.
Floki builds his final boat for Ragnar, a coffin, as per Ragnar’s request. The French go to see why the Vikings haven’t left after a month. They concede to Ragnar’s demand that when he dies, they will give him a proper Christian burial, his coffin carried into the city by six unarmed Vikings. If you don’t see where this is heading yet, you sure will be surprised.
Rollo, Lagertha, and Floki go to pay their respects after Ragnar is put in his coffin. Lagertha expresses disbelief that they will not both be together in Valhalla, Rollo admits his envy of his brother, and Floki all but admits that he killed Athelstan after noting that the ships he made for Ragnar act like bookends of a sort, before going on a jealous rant, vacillating wildly between the extremes of love and hatred.
Ragnar is taken inside the city and, surprising everyone but the viewer, rises from his coffin alive and (mostly) well. The episode could have easily been called the Trojan Boat, or Ragnar’s coffin (because let’s be honest, no one has ever read Moby Dick). Ragnar takes Gisla hostage, the pallbearers grab their weapons from the coffin, and Paris is ripe for the plundering.
When all is said and done, this episode is more payoff than combat. Ragnar achieves his goal, leaves behind a small encamped force led by Rollo, and returns home with double the plunder. It’s very low key compared to previous season finales, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Final thoughts:
-Ragnar heard everything.
-His boat-coffin was pretty sweet.
-Emperor Charles faints like a hemophiliac with a paper cut. Charlemagne would be displeased.
-Count Odo would not be your Christian Grey in your wildest dreams/nightmares.
-Rollo’s salut.
-Bjorn vs. Bear. It’s totally happening!
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