Probably spent too much time listening to shitty emo music.

In a recent small stakes news, one of those security robots assigned to a D.C. area office building drowned itself. It had, previously, reported that everything was fine. It likely spent its charging time listening to My Chemical Romance and the Theme to M*A*S*H before coming to the realization that, without arms, it’s very hard to self harm. Doubly so since suicide booths don’t exist.

Dramatic reenactment of robot’s last moments.

Well, at least we know where the guts to all of those Tickle Me Emo dolls went! But hey, when you have something with all of the authority of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and all the mobility of someone in a Hoveround, this may just be a foregone conclusion.

This is literally the funniest thing since Microsoft’s Twitter AI’s went insanely Right Wing.

~What has Science done!?~

About Author

B. Simmons

Based out of Glendale California, Bryan is a GAMbIT’s resident gaming contributor. Specializing in PC and portable gaming, you can find Bryan on his 3DS playing Monster Hunter or at one of the various conventions throughout the state.

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