Remember last week when I said that these columns are easy to do with a hangover? Let’s find out if that’s true.
The Equalizer finds Denzel Washington in full Man on Fire mode as he sets out to rescue Chloe Moretz and her uncomortably short dress from Johnny Crowder. If this is half as fun as 2 Guns, I’m in. This was originally supposed to be directed by Drive‘s Nicolas Winding Refn. Try to imagine how bonkers the violence would have been.
This is Where I Leave You is based on the book by David Sedaris Augusten Burroughs Jonathan Tropper, which is reputedly good but doesn’t look like anything groundbreaking. That said, the cast is stellar, and I hope Shawn Levy showcases the same artistry and nuance he did in Date Night and Real Steel.
Snowpiercer comes from The Host‘s Bong-joon Ho, and it’s about society on a train that never stops moving, which, what? The poor are at the back and the rich at the front, and Chris Evans uses his beard to topple the system. Gee, I wonder if the train crashes at the end. Tilda Swinton is in it too, mainly to remind everyone how weird and arty she is.
The Strain is FX’s adaptation of the novel of the same name, written by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan. It stars House of Cards alumnus Corey Stoll, who plays “Ephraim Goodweather,” which sounds like the name of a Victorian porn star. That said, it looks pretty good and there’s a decent chance I’ll be reviewing it this summer, so, uh, prepare your butts.
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